Cary Hayward

M:  +64 272 216871


Locations:  Wellington & Whitby

Relationship Counselling

Personal Counselling

Mens Issues

Training and Supervision

Clinical Service Development

Welcome to Cary Hayward’s Website

I love working with people to make positive changes in their relationships and their lives.

I have over 20 years of clinical experience which includes having been the National Practice Manager and Clinical Director for over 10 years of Relationships Aotearoa, New Zealand’s largest counselling agency (30,000 clients a year, 200 staff), an organisation known for its couples work and relationship expertise. I have led a national Bachelor of Counselling professional training programme that has trained hundreds of counsellors through out New Zealand, and I have led the introduction of Emotionally Focused Therapy, an internationally recognized evidence based approach to couples work, to NZ. My background includes significant experience working with couples, families and relationship issues, mental health issues, workplace issues, trauma and crisis intervention.

I am no longer taking new clients in 2024

Couples Therapy

I work with couples to help them to understand what is going on in their relationship and to find ways to reconnect and have a more deeply satisfying relationship experience.

Many of my clients are couples who have become disconnected through repeated patterns of conflict that include cycles of fighting or withdrawing, or who have grown apart emotionally and find they have fallen into a pattern of living parallel lives with little intimacy and emotional connection between them. Other couples have experienced a trauma like an affair or some other loss of trust in the relationship that has created emotional separation. Some couples struggle with issues from their original family or their previous relationships, which they find are impacting on their current relationship.

I will help you to identify the patterns that are leading to the conflict and disconnection you are experiencing, de-escalate the negative spiral you find yourselves in, and to reconnect with each other in ways that are satisfying to you and that will deepen your intimacy and emotional connection with one another.


Personal Counselling

I work with individuals to resolve personal issues including anxiety, depression, stress, life crises, sexuality issues and workplace challenges. I can also help with understanding relationship issues. I am registered with a number of EAP providers.


Men’s Issues

I have spent many years working with men individually, in couples, and in men’s groups to assist them to  understand and find solutions to issues they are facing, including helping men to have more satisfying relationships with their partners, families or work colleagues.


Services for Professionals and Organisations

I have considerable expertise in training, supervision and clinical service development at a national level, and provide these services for professionals and organizations.

To find out more about my services and my fit for your needs